Total Random Island
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Ever imagine your favorite characters from the Total Drama series acting in strange, odd, yet random circumstances? Believe it or not, they are! Mostly of collections of random one-shots and drabbles. Did this because I was in a random mood. Chapter 6 is up!
1. Ch 1: Chris Loses His Skittles (Sort Of)

**"Total Random Island"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, this is a collection of snippets, drabbles and short one-shots featuring your favorite characters in Total Drama going through random situations! Each one crazier than the next. Anyway, here you go!**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Chris Loses His Skittles (Sort Of)**

* * *

Around an empty space at Camp Wawanakwa, Chef Hatchet was busy working on his Jeep Wrangler. Apparently, someone stuck a banana on his tailpipe, so Chef tried his best to get it out. After hours of trying, Chef finally got the yellow fruit out. But now, his entire arm was full of greasy oil.

"I don't know why I let that green-haired dink steal some fruit when I wasn't lookin'..." Chef muttered as he threw the banana away.

Meanwhile, Chef was approached by his good friend/confidant Chris McLean, who was in a total panic.

"Chef, something horrible has happened!" Chris cried out.

"And why should I care?" Chef raised his eyebrow.

"My skittles are gone!" Chris exclaimed, "I had them in my table and then the next thing you know it, it disappeared!"

"Um, Chris-?" Chef said before getting cut off.

"This can't be right!" Chris cried again. "I always have my bag of skittles after I go on breaks! They're important to my life dude, other than my stash of weed!"

"Chris-"

"Do you know what my day would be without my bag of skittles?" Chris replied. "The frickin' end of the world! We're talking mass suicide, fire coming down from the sky, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria, dude!"

"Chris, I need-"

"I swear," Chris groaned, "If I find this sucka who stole my damn skittles, I'm gonna put my foot up their ass so bad, they're gonna start pooping footwear! Or better yet, I'll get my knife out and carve-"

"CHRIS!" Chef shouted.

Chef's yelling ended up hurting the host's ears painfully.

"WHAT?!" Chris shouted back.

"Chris," Chef sighed. "If you lost your Skittles in the first place, then what the hell's on your shirt pocket?!"

"Oh, it must be my Skittle-" Chris said, looking down on his shirt pocket.

To his surprise, Chris managed to find a bag of Skittles stuffed inside his shirt pocket.

"WHAT?" Chris shouted. "How did it get here?!"

"Maybe you put them in your pocket, just in case you wouldn't lose them?" Chef replied. "I should know that because your brain's as empty as shit, Chris."

"I think Duncan must've put it in my pocket as a ploy to fool me!" Chris exclaimed. "I'll show that poopy turd what's what!"

In a fit of rage, Chris walked out from Chef, obviously to find Duncan and kick his ass. Chef looked far away from him and decided to work on the Jeep some more.

"I don't know why," Chef muttered. "But I really gotta ask him to lay off the weed next time..."

* * *

**Eeyup, and that's how Chris lost his skittles. (Or that's what I think it is.)**

**Anyway, you got an idea for a random one-shot or drabble I can use? Let me know for feedback, everyone! Anyway, more will be coming soon!**


	2. Ch 2: Heather Loves Weed

**"Total Random Island"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, this is a collection of snippets, drabbles and short one-shots featuring your favorite characters in Total Drama going through random situations! Each one crazier than the next. Anyway, here you go!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Heather Loves Weed  
**

* * *

Alejandro was at his apartment that she shared with his girlfriend Heather. The whole room was huge, considering it had two bedrooms (one of them was a guest room), a huge bathroom, a game room, and a built-in movie theatre for date nights. But this time, Alejandro decided to have movie night for himself.

This time, Alejandro was watching his favorite movie of all time, "300". He watched in envy as King Leonidas shouted those three words on the screen.

_"THIS. IS. SPAAAAAAARTAAAA!"_

Alejandro then reacted to the part where he kicked the gladiator straight into the pit.

"Ooooh, I bet that's a long way down for that chico." Alejandro smirked.

Suddenly, Heather appeared beside him carrying two suitcases in her hands. Seeing this, Alejandro turned the movie down and turned around, finally getting her attention.

"Hey Mi Amor, what's with the suitcases?" Alejandro replied.

"Alejandro," She sighed. "I'm leaving you."

From there, Alejandro's jaw dropped like a boulder in disbelief.

"But why?" Alejandro shrugged. "Look if I accidentally sneezed in your chicken enchilada, I was sorry! I had a cold that wouldn't bother me!"

"No, it's not it." Heather said, shaking her head.

"Was it that time I tried to sneak attack you with sex, only to find out I was kissing Justin instead?" Alejandro guessed, "Because just to let you know that I'm straight? Only the gossip magazines lie about that!"

"No it isn't." Heather shook her head again.

"Wait a minute," Alejandro said, thinking clearly. "Was it because I accidentally scared your pants off with my Duck Dynasty beard I wore for Halloween? Too bad it itched and smelled like a burro's farts. I really had to throw it away because Owen accidentally sat and farted on it."

"No, it's not about that, Alejandro." Heather sighed.

"Then, what's the problem, mi little angel?" He shrugged again.

After a deep breath, Heather finally blabbed it out.

"I'm leaving you because I'm in love with this bag of weed," She said, holding a dimebag of weed. "I even named him Darrell."

"Are you serious, Heather?" Alejandro shouted out, standing on his chair. "You're leaving me for a damn dimebag named Darrell? What does that hombre got that I don't?"

"Unlike you, it helps me smoke a lot better." Heather confessed.

"Oh please," Alejandro scoffed in jealousy. "When it comes to the bedroom, my smoked sausage can smoke a lot better than that shit!"

"Yeah, but when it comes to your 'smoked sausage', it loses flavor," Heather smirked. "Anyway, I'll be back for more of my stuff later. Goodbye, Alejandro."

Just like that, Heather took her suitcases and left the house without having to be stopped by his new ex-fiancee.

"Yeah, you know what, I don't even need you anyway!" Alejandro snapped. "And just to let you know, I was gonna leave you anyway too! In fact, I was gonna leave you..."

But then, Alejandro managed to pull out a huge burrito he kept in his pocket.

"...for this bean burrito!" He shouted yet again. "Yeah, he's spicy, tasty and muy caliente than you'll ever be!"

After his outburst, Alejandro stared down at his newfound love, which he was holding in his own two hands.

"Don't worry," Alejandro whispered, hugging his burrito. "No one will ever take your spicy goodness away. I love you, burrito..."

* * *

**Ouch, I'm certain anyone could've bought the sex puns in this chapter. It flows very well, especially we would all know what 'smoked sausage' means in a sexual term. I know it's not a bit humorous, but the puns in this chapter would make it well enough.  
**

**Anyway, got any random ideas you want in a future chapter, just PM me and I'll see what I can do! Anyway, more randomness will be shown next! Until then, feedback's appreciated!**


	3. Ch 3: Ezekiel Goes To Another Dimension

**"Total Random Island"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, this is a collection of snippets, drabbles and short one-shots featuring your favorite characters in Total Drama going through random situations! Each one crazier than the next. Anyway, here you go!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Ezekiel Goes To Another Dimension  
**

* * *

Justin was busy reading his magazine outside a hot sun, which shone around Playa De Losers. The magazine Justin was reading was a Men's Health magazine. Not that he was questioning his sexuality though, but he only read it just for the interesting articles. Mostly, he was reading an article based on the actor Terry Crews.

"Heh, no way is Terry Crews more ripped than me," Justin chuckled. "Even my gorgeous face is more ripped than his muscles."

While he kept on reading, the homeschooled Ezekiel walked by giving Justin a greetful smirk.

'How's it going, eh?" Ezekiel smirked at him.

"Not much, Leikeze." Justin replied.

Suddenly, the homeschooled weirdo stopped in his tracks. Feeling his whole body spasm out of control, Zeke screamed out of control!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He went.

And then suddenly, he was zapped away instaneously.

This little display forced everyone's hateful Queen Bee Heather, to stop in her tracks as well, being stunned at the moment.

"AGGGGH!" Heather said, hesistating for the moment, "What the hell, Justin?"

"Sorry Heather, but only saying his name backwards sends him to another dimension." The male model replied.

"Where at?" Heather responded.

"Oh, believe me, it's something I don't even know myself." Justin shrugged.

**Meanwhile...**

Justin's little magic trick forced Ezekiel to be instantly transported inside of a strip club. Right there, he was surrounded by tons of blonde strippers, waiting to tickle Ezekiel's fancy.

"Am I... am I in hell?" Ezekiel replied.

"No, you're in heaven!" The strippers all replied.

Seeing the hot, smoking busty blondes all around him, Ezekiel rejoiced in victory.

"OH, IT'S SO TRUE, EH?" Ezekiel shouted in glory as he started to dance and gyrate with the strippers.

Talk about a place worth going.

* * *

**Wow, who could've known? Maybe Alex Trebek's there as well.  
**

**Anyway, got any ideas for hilarious random one-shots? Come let me know via PM or review and I'll be gladly to oblige! Until then, smoochie boochies!**


	4. Ch 4: Topher's Chris-Mas Letter To Santa

**"Total Random Island"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, this is a collection of snippets, drabbles and short one-shots featuring your favorite characters in Total Drama going through random situations! Each one crazier than the next. Anyway, here you go!**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Topher's Chris-mas Letter To Santa  
**

* * *

Dear Santa,

Bring me Chris for Chrismas. Yes, I spelled Chris in Chrismas because Chris McLean is a hot sexy f**k. I do agree with Scott that Chris McLean's chin looks like a butt. Oh, how I want to touch that butt-like chin. I bet that chin can drop dimes. I was gonna ask for a Chris McLean sex doll for Christmas because I always wanted to have Chris with me whenever I go, but I figured the real thing was way more awesome then the inflatable doll itself. But I want to inform you one last time that I want the real Chris for Chris-mas, not an inflatable Chris doll. And to tell you the truth, I pronounce Christmas as 'Chrismas' because I love how there's a holiday named after the sexy ass-chinned host. I love ass-chins. There needs to be more hosts with ass-chins way similar to Chris McLean.

Best Wishes,

Topher

P.S.: Yes, I am gay, thank you for asking.

* * *

**Uh, wow? That was awkward of Topher. And I do agree with Scott, Chris's chin does look like a butt.  
**

**Any ideas for random one-shots, let me know via PM or review and I'll see what I can do! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  
**


	5. Ch 5: This Is Dave

**"Total Random Island"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, this is a collection of snippets, drabbles and short one-shots featuring your favorite characters in Total Drama going through random situations! Each one crazier than the next. Anyway, here you go!**

* * *

**Chapter 5: This Is Dave  
**

* * *

Sky was at her kitchen looking right at the reader. From there, she held up an egg.

"See this, everyone?" Sky said. "This is Dave."

And then, Sky put 'Dave' on the counter. After that, she brought up a skillet.

"See this?" Shy said before raising her voice. "THIS IS DAVE WHEN HE'S BEEN REJECTED!"

And right there, the egg was smashed by the metal object. Seeing the entire yolky contents stick to the pan, Sky looked at the reader again.

"Now, got any weed?" Sky smirked. "I like to smash that too."

* * *

**I know it was short and a bit OOC, but you have to know why it's called Total Random Island. Cause you'll never know what to expect!  
**

**You have any ideas for random one-shots, let me know via PM or review! Until then, see ya!  
**


	6. Ch 6: AleHeather's Growing Pains

**"Total Random Island"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, this is a collection of snippets, drabbles and short one-shots featuring your favorite characters in Total Drama going through random situations! Each one crazier than the next. Anyway, here you go!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: AleHeather's Growing Pains  
**

* * *

It was finally open mic night at Playa Des Losers as a crowd of people were applauding a couple (which actually happened to be Shawn and Jasmine), who were finished performing a song for the contestants. The host for the festivities, Chris McLean, came up to the stage and spoke on the mic.

"Okay, that was Shawn and Jasmine, performing a stirring rendition of that beautiful classic from R.E.M. entitled, 'It's The End Of The World As We Know It!'" Chris exclaimed. "All right, let's keep it up with our last couple of the night. You love to hate them and you hate to love them, which obviously you'd hate them anyway, please give it up for Alejandro and Heather!"

As Chris left the stage, out came Alejandro and Heather, who came out to a raucous of boos from the contestants. However, only Katie and Sadie were cheering for them. At least they had some fans from this horrible reaction. The outfits Alejandro and Heather wore were a bit ridiculous, dressing just like Donny and Marie Osmond from the 70's.

"Okay, this one's for the chicas!" Alejandro exclaimed on the mic. "And Tyler too!"

"Thanks, dude!" Tyler shouted from the crowd.

As they were finished talking, the song started playing. Alejandro started off, and Heather followed along.

Alejandro:  
_Show me their hate again_

Heather:  
_Oh, show me their hate_

Alejandro:  
_Don't waste another minute of their bitching/You know they're near the end_

Heather:  
_Nowhere near_

Alejandro:  
_The worse is ready to begin... OHHHHH!  
_

Alejandro and Heather:  
_As long as we hate them together/We've got the world ruling right in our hands_

Alejandro:  
_Baby you and me_

Heather:  
_We gotta be_

Alejandro and Heather:  
_The luckiest villains who never quit killing/As long as we keep on hating/We'll destroy anything that comes our way/Baby, blood and wine/all the time/We got each other/Sharin' some murder and blood_

As the song ended, the crowd all broke out in applause, not even knowing that Alejandro and Heather had butchered a famous theme song from the 80's. As they were being cheered, the host Chris came up to the stage.

"Well, that was awesome folks!" Chris exclaimed. "That was Alejandro and Heather ripping off the theme song to "Growing Pains". We're sorry if Kirk Cameron was offended by this. Anyway, let's see what our judges thought of it. Judges?"

"Wait a minute, since when did the hell we get judges?" Heather raised her eyebrow.

Sitting across the stage was three judges: Owen, Chef and Dave.

"Owen, what's your score?" Chris said to Owen.

"I give it a 10!" Owen said, holding up a 10.

"Awesome score, Owen." Chris smirked. "Chef?"

"I give it a 10, fool." Chef said, holding up a 10 like Owen did.

"Whoa, AleHeather's on a roll." Chris smirked. "Dave, what's your score."

Dave didn't hold up a score. Instead, he held up a sign that said this:

**_"I f***ed Heather."_**

"YOU BITCH!" Alejandro screamed as he rushed after Dave and beat the holy crap out of him.

After Dave was screaming for his life (hopefully), Chris turned to the contestants.

"Well, after Alejandro's done murdering Dave for what he wrote, we'll take a short intermission!" Chris exclaimed. "Come right back when I'll announce the winner of our Couples Karaoke Sing-off at Playa Des Losers! And I won't wear any pants or underwear as well!"

* * *

**R.I.P. Dave.**

**Anyway, more randomness will come soon next chapter. Until then, feedbacks are welcome!**

**BTW, my apologies to anyone who was offended by a ripoff of the "Growing Pains" theme song.** **I gotta admit, it's a catchy song. It'll get you in your head after a few days.**


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